Work-Balance Life

Mothers are so often judged for “abandoning” their children when  returning to work full-time, while fathers are expected to go to work to  “provide” for the family. Why is this sexist stereotype still so  present in our seemingly progressive society?

Some women don’t  have the option of being a stay-at-home mom, while others choose to go  back to work because they don’t want to give up their career. Whatever  the reason, deciding to be a working mom is a choice that should be  admired, not judged or shamed. If you are feeling guilty about not being  with your child all the time, it’s time to let it go.  Focus on  the positive things that your work life is contributing to your family.  Be confident that you are making the best choice for your whole family,  including yourself, and your child will feel the extent of your love and  understand your sacrifice.

To get the most done in the least amount of time, use shortcuts and plan strategically.

Order  your groceries online and use curbside pick-up or have them delivered  to your house; this saves time AND ensures that you don’t forget  anything.

Schedule conference calls during your commute and get  quick errands done during your lunch break to free up more time during  the week.

Prepare outfits and lunches the night before so that you can enjoy your morning instead of rushing to get out the door on time.

Knowing that your child is cared for is crucial to having peace of  mind when you are at work. Find a daycare, nanny, or someone you know  that you trust with your child.

A quality daycare should have flexible hours, a low  teacher-to-child ratio, a clean and spacious environment, and up to date  licenses.

For nannies, look for one with extensive experience and  great references. Have at least one trial day to observe if it is a  good fit and make all of your expectations clear from the get-go. If  possible, keep constant contact throughout the day and ask for updates  and photos of your little one.

Being a working mom does NOT mean you will be a a less productive employee. However, changes will definitely occur.Mothers are typically the primary parent when a child is  sick or has an appointment, and is the one responsible for picking up  the child after work; so working moms often need more flexibility in  their schedules. But working moms are some of the most committed  employees out there! From skipping lunch breaks to working on the  weekends, these women do not use their child as an excuse to slack off.

The  important thing is to make sure you communicate to your manager what  your needs are, as well as how you will continue to do your job well.  Hopefully, your manager will be understanding and appreciate your  transparency and dedication to both your family and your job.

Time is such a precious commodity when you are a working mom.

At  work, be mindful of the time you are spending socializing with  co-workers if it is affecting your productivity. Limit long lunch breaks  and surfing the internet so that you can get the most out of your work  time.

When at home, focus on your partner and your child rather  than your phone or the TV to ensure that the time spent together is  meaningful and intentional.

The key to a happy home starts with a happy marriage. Make your  marriage or relationship a priority because it will have an immense  impact on everything else.

If possible, find childcare and go out  on regular date nights, doing things that the two of you enjoyed doing  before becoming parents. Plan something other than dinner at your usual  place, like a painting class or trivia night. Have an honest  conversation with your partner that doesn’t involve work or kids and  really listen to what they have to say.

Make the time that you spend with your family really count by planning activities that everyone will look forward to and enjoy.

Organize  a weekly family game night, have a picnic in the backyard, or go play  mini golf. I love to take long walks with my family at nearby parks  because it gives us a chance to be active and have great conversations.  Ask for ideas from your older kids and let them get involved in deciding  where to go too.

The mental load that working mothers must take on is a responsibility that no one else can understand.

You  are the one in charge of keeping track of doctor’s appointments,  signing permission slips, bringing potluck dishes, remembering  birthdays, writing cards, staying on top of of clothes and sizes,  knowing what’s in the fridge and pantry, never letting the house run out  of toilet paper, just to name a few.

Use planners, apps, and  other resources to keep track of your never ending to-do’s and let go of  some of the mental weight. Add events to a shared calendar so that your husband can easily see what’s coming up and help out. 

The burden of the housework should not fall solely on the woman’s  shoulders. This is an area that is easy for your partner to help you out  in, especially if you have specific tasks that only you can do (i.e.  breastfeeding, putting the baby down).

If your children are older,  delegate simple tasks to them so they can learn to build good habits  early on and play an active role in contributing to the family. 

You don’t have to say yes to every single party invitation or  extracurricular activity if it is causing you more anxiety than  enjoyment.

Determine how much your schedule can handle and choose  the activities that your child will enjoy the most. Don’t feel bad about  saying no to the rest. Overbooking takes all of the fun out of the  experience and leaves no time for much needed rest.

 A lot of the pressure that moms have to cook healthy and delicious  meals daily, maintain a perfectly clean house, and be the perfect parent  are expectations that you put on yourself. No one else demands as much  as you demand of yourself.  When you lower your expectations, you will find a lot of the unnecessary stress can be eliminated.

Your house does NOT need to be spotless every time a guest comes over, especially if the guest also has children.

Buying  cookies instead of baking them yourself does NOT make you a bad mom.  Home cooked meals everyday is a great goal to strive towards, but  leftovers and take out will also feed your family just fine.

 Finding time for yourself is crucial in maintaining inner peace and balance within the hectic environment of work and home life.

Moms  have a bad habit of putting their own needs last in order to take care  of everyone else first. But if you aren’t taking care of yourself, how  can you expect to take care of anyone else well?

Find the time on a  regular basis and an activity that will allow you to relax and  recharge. Some ideas include: meditation, yoga, exercise, reading,  writing, catching up with a friend, or pampering yourself.